I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
