I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
