He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
