Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
