he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
