where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
