NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
