How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Randomize
