I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
