yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
