Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
