if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am one with the molecules
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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