i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
