whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
