He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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