ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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