its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
