i just wanna soil my oats bro
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
