I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
