On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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