Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
