omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
People with herpes should wear stickers.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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