By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
