Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
