My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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