Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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