Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
