You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
