puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
