I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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