tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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