My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
