Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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