there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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