I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
