Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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