Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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