my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
