this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
