Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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