It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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