So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm having to shit out rocks
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize