And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
