5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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