no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
false alarm. still invincible.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
