I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize