before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
