If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i believe in u and ur pee
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
