the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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