This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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