i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
