I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize