I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
