when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ugly people sure do ruin things
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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