So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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