i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
