Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
