I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
