She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
