Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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