Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
